Rains!

For the first time in this heat, yesterday there was some respite.. :)

After all the dusty, sweaty, long days in the sweltering heat, it was a major relief to run out on the terrace and dance in the rain.

Nature is something that never fails to fascinate me, i'm always amazed by it.. be the wonderful melodious cuckooing of the cuckoo, or a fabulous tree, a flower somewhere, the magnificant ocean (even though its dirty, its huge!) the breeze.. oh i could go on and on about the various facets of nature that delight me..

But the truth is that, at the end of the day, the first shower of rain is always the best! i know all about acid rain, and that this shower might be harmful.. but what the hell! i waited 5 mins after it had started, surely most of the acid must have dissolved by then. :) and anyways, it was too tempting to resist jumping around on the terrace..

Having seen a movie on dancing in the afternoon, i was very inspired to dance, and dance i did! i even taught my friend how to waltz and salsa in the rain without any music.. it was fun and great..

ooohhh! monsoon is here again.. now's the time for the kande bhaji, garam chai at the tapri, butta at the sea face, standing at marine drive waiting for the washes to lash out, and now is the time for just enjoying life.. :)

Fear

Fear is something each one of us have, by it the fear of death, being alone or being killed by Lord Voldemort, we all have something we fear..

The most recurring fear i have is that i might not succeed at something i take up.. this is not because i don't, its just that i have succeeded in most of the things i have wanted to do and succeeded really well, but the idea now is that i was successful earlier thinking about fear so i should continue even now..

For years i have perceived the glass to be half full, but that's only because it is a conditioned response, its only to show that i'm an optimistic person.. outwardly i might be but inside, i'm a downright pessismist.

so now i sit and think why? why do i anticipate failure at the start of every juncture? sometimes i feel that the idea of a failure keeps me motivated to work harder, but later i think that, its really odd to be motivated towards success by thinking of how badly you might fail, i mean the success i'd probably achieve thinking about success would be far more greater!

truth is that somewhere in the back of my mind, imagining the failure is like a buffer in case i do fail, what i simply mean is that, in case i fail actually, then my mind is half prepared to face it coz i've already imagined it. and when i succeed inspite of the odds, it makes me happier just thinking about that fact that i didn't fail. :) i know this is morbid philosophy, but sometimes it pays not to expect much..

sometimes it feels right to just succeed by a smaller margin, and sometimes when you suddenly win it feels great to win by a greater margin, when you haven't prepared for anything and something like that happens, its like a miracle, a sudden spurt of luck..

at the end of the day, there are so many self help books that one cannot help but think, that no matter what you think about, fear or success, a balance of the two will keep you motivated enough to strive towards success.